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Age Segregation
Why We Don't Utilize the Nursery, Children's Church, Age-Segregated SS Classes, etc.
1. Parents are Scripturally responsible for teaching their own children (and grandchildren). (Gen. 18:17-19; Deut. 4:9; 6:6-7; 11:18-19) There are several points to consider here.a. Children learn from their parents' examples, even when someone else is doing the actual teaching. (They also pick up on what is being taught, even if they are just playing nearby.)
b. If children have questions about what they've heard, they can easily ask Mom and Dad later, if Mom and Dad were there and know what was said.
c. If children are routinely separated from their parents, it is easy for them to be exposed to teachings and/or comments which are contrary to what their parents teach them at home. This undermines the parents' authority. If we are with our children, we at least hear these comments and know what to discuss at home later. Someone will probably say, "But you should be able to trust the people who work in your church." These things aren't necessarily huge doctrinal differences. I'll give you an example. In our home, we don't "do" Santa Claus. Most people don't think twice about asking children, "Are you ready for Santa Claus?" This could be very confusing for a small child of ours, but if one of us is there, we can intervene and minimize the confusion for the child.
2. Most children's curriculum is watered down. We believe that, since it is the Spirit who gives understanding (John 16:13; 1 Cor. 2:9-14), this is not necessary or desirable. We believe that, like anyone else, children should be exposed to the whole counsel of God. What they understand will sink in and we need not worry about what they do not yet understand. (And often these things will resurface later, when they do understand them.)
3. We do not want our children to learn that the purpose of the church meeting is to entertain them. We should be able to enjoy worshiping the Lord, but this is not the same thing as being entertained by it. Playing in the nursery, followed by the fun- and self-centered focus of children's church, with it's games, skits, puppet shows, etc., trains children to expect to be comfortable and entertained in church. We often see this training played out in older children and teenagers who are bored with church and in adults who avoid doctrinally solid churches in favor of shallow, entertainment-oriented churches.
4. We do not want our children surrounded primarily by other children. The Bible says that, "he who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed." (Prov. 13:20) It also tells us that children, just by nature of being children, are foolish: "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child." (Prov. 22:15a) We do not choose to willingly make our children companions of fools, but rather to surround them with mature, godly, wise examples.
5. There is no biblical precedent for excluding children from the regular worship of God and study of the Scriptures. In fact, if anything, the biblical precedent indicates the opposite.
Deuteronomy 29:10-11 "All of you stand today before the LORD your God….your little ones and your wives…"
Deuteronomy 31:12 "Gather the people together, men and women and little ones…"
Joshua 8:35 "There was not a word of all that Moses had commanded which Joshua did not read before all the assembly of Israel, with the women, the little ones, and the strangers who were living among them."
Nehemiah 8:2 "So Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, of men and women and all who could hear with understanding…" Now, at first glance, here's one which demonstrates the exclusion of small children, but let's think about it for a moment. Ezra brought the law before all who could hear with understanding. If this is true, those who could not understand must have also been present. It doesn't say, "…all who could hear with understanding except for those who were keeping the nursery." If all who could hear with understanding were present, then either the babies were left all alone (highly unlikely) or they were present as well.
The New Testament doesn't really tell us for sure who was present at formal church meetings but it does show us how the people lived. When crowds gathered to hear Jesus teach, children were there.
Matthew 14:21 "Now those who had eaten were about five thousand men, besides women and children."
Matthew 15:38 "Now those who ate were four thousand men, besides women and children."
Matthew 19:13-14 "Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.'" (also Mark 10:13-14 and Luke 18:15-16)
Paul evidently expected children to be present when his letters were read, to be taught along with everyone else.
Ephesians 6:1-3 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother,' which is the first commandment with promise: 'that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.'"
Colossians 3:20 "Children obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord."