I don’t know about your children, but mine are pretty grumpy in the mornings if I just go in and wake them up.  This is especially true if I’m telling them they must get up right away.  So we have found an alternative that works much better for us most mornings.  (There are still those occasional extra-early or rushed mornings when there is no option but to just shoo them out of bed.)  Before I head into the shower, I turn on the stereo and the hall light, and swing their bedroom door wide open.  The sound and the light rouse them, but without the light glaring directly into their eyes or the obnoxious sound of an alarm.  They are usually up by the time I get out of the shower (which is the goal).  Occasionally, they are not yet up, but they are nearly always awake.  Plus, if we follow this routine regularly (which we have not done lately, because this pregnant mama just wants to sleep!), the music and light serve as a gentle cue to the girls that it’s time to rise, without Mama having to “give orders.”

Filed under: Babies & Parenting by Rachel
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I have been struggling lately with frustration over the fact that it seems like we are still dealing with the same issues with our children, that we dealt with when they were first old enough to act.  And there is no apparent progress.  In fact, I was just discussing this with my mom the other day and, later that same day, I read a blog post at Impress Your Kids about using charts to help behavior.  I think we’ll have to try this (once my girls come back from their trip with Grandma to Great-Grandma’s ).

In her post, Amanda very aptly points out to us that:

The only way to combat sin in our lives is through God’s Word.

(Love the way she phrases that, so plainly and simply!)  We have been working on teaching our daughters appropriate Scripture verses, but there is still a disconnect between the Scripture itself, and the day-in, day-out, moment-by-moment application of it to their weaknesses and struggles.  (And Mama’s, too, for that matter.)  I love Amanda’s chart idea, because this particular chart is designed to constantly reinforce the Scripture at the moment of need.

The top said, “Philippians 2:14: “Do everything without COMPLAINING or ARGUING.”

Then I made two columns on the bottom: one entitled LYDIA and the other entitled MOMMY. I told Lydia that every time she obeys the verse she gets a sticker. And even if I get onto her and she stops and obeys, she’ll get a sticker. But if she doesn’t then I get to make a mark in my section (an X, a line or a sad face).

She LOVED this idea. She was determined to get more stickers than me.

So the chart comes up every time the sin issue comes up.  And every time, it reinforces the verse.  Amanda’s post also implies that she and her daughter verbally repeated the verse every time the issue came up, which I think is a very important factor.

The other key factor is the temporary nature of the chart.  It is designed to serve as a reminder while we work on a heart issue.  It is not designed to be the primary motivator.  Amanda told her daughter they would use the chart only one more day.

Why do we obey the Bible? Why do we obey this verse? For stickers?  [daughter: "No."]  We obey because God wants our hearts to obey and love him. This chart and these stickers are just practice so you can really learn how to obey.

I think we’re going to try this at our house.  Complaining is one issue around here, but not the biggest one.  The biggest issue around here comes down to self-importance.  Our verses are Philippians 2:3-4 and Romans 12:10.

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.  Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.

We’ll see how it goes.

Filed under: Babies & Parenting by Rachel
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There has been some discussion on one of my message boards this week about the teaching of high school science in our homeschools.  The general consensus seems to be that at least three, preferably four, upper-level science courses should be required of every student, regardless of need.  (For instance, if the student has no intention of attending college, or if the college only requires two science credits, three or four are still required.)  I disagree.  Apparently I’m the only one (well, my husband, my parents – who educated/graduated me – and I), but the real issue, to me, is not “science,” and I believe it’s an important one.

There is a radical difference in philosophy between the two perspectives.  The science requirements are merely an application of the perspective.  (By the way, just to be completely clear, I am by no means opposed to teaching science – or even lots of it.  I am opposed to requiring every student to study the same thing to the same degree, regardless of aptitude or interest.)

With the possible rare exception of a radical unschooler here or there, by the time a student is in high school, all basic skills will have already been covered.  Anything necessary, at a fundamental level, to function in society, is done.  Our students can read and write, they know how to figure, etc.  Even informal logic, which I consider essential for everyone, can readily be taught to most students well before high school.  Where our basics probably looked very much alike, high school should be a time of specialization. There are a limited number of hours in a day, and any time spent studying “A” is necessarily time not spent studying “B” (unless, of course, “A” and “B” are closely associated).  These facts provide the background for the philosophical differences I’m going to present.

The first philosophy says (whether by verbal acknowledgment or simply through action) that every student (or at least every student except those with severe mental disabilities) should have a cookie cutter education.  The sprinkles on those cookies might be different colors, but the cookies are essentially the same.  In other words, every student should study the same things.  While I appreciate that most of these parents are striving for excellence, and I understand that pushing our children to study things they don’t enjoy is sometimes necessary and can be a good opportunity to teach them to pour their full effort even into things they don’t like, I believe that it communicates several undesirable things.

1. It communicates that they should do things just because they can, that a “good thing” should always be done when an opportunity is present.  At first glance, this is a good thing, but it’s actually a major downfall for many adults.  How many people do you know who can’t say “no” to anything?  These individuals have never been taught to be selective, to differentiate between “a good thing” and “the best thing” for them.

2. It communicates that we should all invest our time, energy, and efforts in the same things.  This denies the uniqueness with which God has made us, and assumes that the preparation which will best serve one person is the preparation which will best serve every other person.

3. It often communicates that the standard of measurement we should be using is the same one the world is using.  Do you have a degree?  Did you take “A,” “B,” and “C” classes?  Can you check the right boxes?  That’s not the standard God uses.  God wants to know what we did with what we had.  He tells us to develop our gifts, not to get the best college-prep education available.  (For some people, an excellent college-prep education may be part of developing their gifts.  But what if it isn’t?)

I prefer an alternate philosophy, one that may not be visible as different for a science-minded student, but which would become readily apparent with a non-science-minded student.  See, I believe that God has beautifully created us to each be unique.  He has a specific plan for each one of us, that uses each one’s particular combination of gifts, strengths, abilities, aptitudes, and interests.  He has given us passion for different things.  If we are to fully develop these unique gifts, then each student’s education must necessarily be different.  I’m not talking about “the sprinkles on the cookie are a different color” different.  I’m talking about “the difference between a Fig Newton, a ginger snap, or a chocolate-chip cookie” different.  When I asked why my friends require so much science, part of the answer many of them gave was, “The time is now.” I agree – the time is now.  To help that young man or young woman blossom into exactly who God created him or her to be.  Not to force him to pour hundreds of hours in something that he has no aptitude for or interest in.  Those are hours that can never be regained for things he does have interest in or aptitude for.  Tailoring a student’s education – by what it includes as well as by what it omits – to the unique abilities and passions planted in him by God, communicates several things.

1. It communicates that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that God has a plan for each of us, and that He has gifted us perfectly to complete those plans.  We are to seek to identify those gifts and develop them.  Just as the exercises that will best develop the lungs are not the exercises that will best develop the biceps, the education that will best develop one set of gifts is not the education that will best develop another.  (As with exercise, there may be some that are “okay” for both, but we don’t want “okay,” we want “best.”  That is, we don’t want to settle for mediocrity; we want excellence!)

2. It communicates that we each have a limited amount of time available and we cannot do everything.  Just because something is a “good” thing, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the “right” thing for a certain person at a certain time.  We should be seeking to invest the majority of our time into things that fall into our area(s) of strength (as well as those things that are purely needful).

3. It communicates to our children that we see them as individuals.  (I don’t believe that those educating by the first philosophy are communicating the opposite of this, necessarily, but I do believe that educating by this second philosophy communicates it more effectively.)

The beauty of homeschooling is that we can tailor the course of study to be a perfect fit for each child.  What a shame to fail to take advantage of that!  May we all be counted faithful at training up each child in the way he should go, so that we might ultimately have a fully-functioning Body and not be missing arms or legs or have weak lungs.  (1 Cor. 12:14-22)

Filed under: Babies & Parenting, Hard Topics, Homeschooling by Rachel
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We are having an all-out cleaning day (well, really, tidying day) around here.  The house was trashed as of this morning, so we’re dedicating today (primarily) to tidying up.  Since my girls really aren’t good about tidying (and who really enjoys that, anyway), we made a game of the whole thing.  I assigned points to certain tasks, etc. throughout the day, and they will get a reward based on how many points they earn.

For instance, the living room was a total disaster.  It looked like toybox blew up in there or something.  But the girls tend to drag their feet, saying it’s “too much” to clean up.  So I told them they’d get 25 points for having it done in an hour, 50 points for having it done in 45 minutes, 75 points for having it done in half an hour, or 100 points for having it done in 15 minutes (which I thought was probably not likely, given the size of the mess).  The incentive to move quickly really worked, and it took them about 35 minutes.  The added advantage is that I was able to point out to Ariel how quickly they had finished tidying up something that she would have thought would take her all day.

Another example is hair things (clips, ponytail holders, etc.).  They seem to have nearly all disappeared.  It’s almost as if they are absorbed into the walls or floors or something; they go away and they never come back. lol  So I told the girls they will get one point for every hair thing they gather.  I think they have about twenty or thirty, so far, although I haven’t actually counted them.

Meanwhile, Mama is working on things like catching up dishes and gathering all of the paperwork into one place again.

All in all, I am thrilled that this seems to be working!  I’m sure we won’t have everything perfect by the end of the day, but it’s looking much better already.

Filed under: Babies & Parenting, Cleaning & Tidying by Rachel
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It seems like any day now I’ll be writing acnefree reviews and talking about teaching the girls to drive.  But thankfully, we’re not quite there yet!    I am reminded again and again, though, that Ariel is growing up quickly and it seems that there isn’t enough time to teach her what I want her to know.  We’re beginning to work on “home ec” skills in earnest, and I’m rediscovering the usefulness of cloth napkins.

When Ariel was little, napkins (and washcloths) were the first things we started with, to teach her to fold.  They’re flat and square (or close to it), so the folding is simple.  And it really doesn’t matter if they get folded poorly, because wrinkles aren’t going to make you look bad in public. lol

Today, we rediscovered their usefulness as I began teaching Ariel to iron.  The same properties that make them useful for learning to fold make them useful for learning to iron.  They’re flat, so they’re pretty easy to iron.  If they’re still a bit wrinkled when you’re done, it’s not that big a deal.  (I’m assuming you don’t have your never-ironed-before child ironing the napkins for your wedding or something.)  Even if they get scorched – at least it isn’t your favorite shirt!

Sewing cloth napkins would be a good way to learn to sew a hem, too, by hand or by machine.  And Ariel likes to use them to learn various napkin folds as one of her earliest introductions to setting an attractive table.  (She’s much better at this than I am!)

So there are a few more reasons to get (or, better yet, make) a few cloth napkins if you don’t already have some.

Filed under: Babies & Parenting, Cleaning & Tidying, Homeschooling by Rachel
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